Hi my name is Rosie-Mae James, I am Amy’s cousin. We both suffer with awful anxiety disorders, so we decided to put our heads together and we came up with the idea to create a blog. The aim of this blog is to reassure fellow suffers that you are not alone in all of this, it’s natural to be scared of what you have no control over.
Anxiety is a massive part of my life, its scary to have no control over the thoughts that come into your head. I can go months without an attack but when they come they’re dreadful, I start to hyperventilate (when you can’t control your breathing), I then have to sit alone for a while to regulate my breathing. I feel like the world is coming to a stand still. We all have our triggers. Mine are food and new situations. I won’t go into detail at this point but they both scare me.
I guess you think nobody could possibly understand what you’re going through, maybe because you don’t understand it yourself? Living with a disorder like this can make you feel so small, scared, vulnerable and isolated! Sound familiar? Then you need to make the mature choice to tell someone. You see, keeping these scary feelings to yourself will just make you feel worse. Your family and friends might not understand at first but once you have educated them about anxiety and how awful you feel then they can be of great comfort! When I found out I had anxiety initially, I felt so isolated it was unreal. My Mom has depression so she partly understood how I felt. It was a relief to share my feelings.
Have you ever obsessed over something for ages?
I have replayed situations over and over again, in my head that anybody else would have just dismissed as trivial. Someone said I looked tired the other day and I felt so self-conscious for the rest of the day, I couldn’t stop worrying about how I looked. It felt like it was eating away at me! All the little, insignificant things in life are the ones that seem to dwell in my head for days on end! Forgetting to kiss my mom goodbye or not tidying my room can seem insurmountable and I can stress all day about them. Crazy I know!
One thing I have learnt it is okay not to be okay! Its acknowledging that things are not okay and learning to deal with them.